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But srsly, it’s gritty work. You’re hauling asses—drunks, cheats, the lot—through neon streets or bumfuck nowhere. “A man’s soul is a dark forest…” and escorts? They’re the guides who don’t give a shit. Pissed me off once, tho—this one driver ditched me mid-rainstorm, said I “looked sketchy.” ME! Can ya believe it? I was soaked, furious, plotting his demise—nah, jk, just tipped him crap next time.

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And let me tell ya, it’s a jungle up there. Cobwebs everywhere, and I’m pretty sure I saw a family of spiders throwin’ a rave. But then, I hear it. The scurrying. My heart races. I’m like, “This is it!” I whip out my traps, ready to catch some furry little monsters.