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Then, mate, I hit the jackpot, yeah! This curvy minx, red lips, smokin’ hot, standin’ by a lampost – classic! Little known fact, dig – back in the day, prossies used coded signals, like twirlin’ a brolly or flashin’ a hanky. She’s givin’ me the eye, I’m thinkin’, “Groovy, baby, she’s the one!” Saunter over, all smooth-like, sayin’, “Fancy a bit of how’s your father?” She giggles, I’m chuffed, heart’s racin’ – Austin’s still got it, yeah!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear sirens. My heart drops. I sprint towards the sound, and there’s a crowd at the old church on de Kerkstraat. Turns out, someone thought they saw a suspicious character. I’m like, “Really? In Woudenberg?” But hey, better safe than sorry, right?

John Woudenberg Obituary (2005) - Phoenix, AZ - The Arizona Republic