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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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So, I’m walking down the Laan van de Heilige Geest, trying to shake off the bird bomb. I’m still kinda mad, but whatever. I pass by the local bakery, and the smell of fresh broodjes hits me. I can’t resist. I grab a kaasbroodje, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, feeling all good again.