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So, I stumble into this grimy port town—thinkin’, “This is my shot, baby!” Bars are loud, lights flicker, and I spot her—red heels, smokey eyes, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. My heart’s racin’, “Is this it? Am I *in*?” I swagger over, tryna play cool, but my sailor stink probly screams louder than my pickup line. “Hey, sugar, wanna make my night less ‘sea’-sick?” She smirks—oh, that smirk!—and I’m hooked. “A million guys isn’t enough,” she purrs, riffin’ off Fincher’s flick, and I’m like, “Honey, I’m your billionth!”

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While I’m up there, I see this kid on the street. He’s kickin’ a ball, and it rolls right under the scaffolding. I’m like, “Dude, don’t do it!” But he crawls under anyway. I’m half-expecting him to get squished. But nah, he pops out like a jack-in-the-box. I’m relieved, but also kinda jealous. Kids have no fear, man.

Amateur paleontologist finds lariosaurus skull in Winterswijk quarry