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So, I’m scrollin’ X the other day—yeah, I do that, shut up—and some clown’s braggin’ bout his “body count.” Made me wanna chuck my phone. What’s the score for, huh? Braggin’ rights? Pathetic. Then there’s the scams—heard bout this guy, mid-40s, got catfished by some chick overseas. Sent her 5 grand for “plane tickets.” Never showed. Idiot. “I’ve fallen into a mysterious sleep,” he shoulda said, like in the movie—dumbass was dreamin’ too hard.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. A kid’s crying, and I turn to see a dog running wild. It’s chasing a pigeon like it’s the last meal on Earth. I’m cracking up, but then I see the kid’s face. Poor thing! I rush over, scoop up the kid, and hand him a strawberry. Instant smile! I’m a hero for like, two seconds.

Fig. 1. Ventral view of triungulin larva of Macrosiagon sp. on Nitela...