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Once busted this guy—claimed “stress relief” from a “massage.” Receipt says “Lotus Flower Bliss.” Googled it—boom, sexual-massage central. Busted! Felt like a freakin’ hero, like Zero in *Grand Budapest* savin’ the day. “We’re in a conspiracy!”—except it’s just me, a laptop, and too much sarcasm. Laughed my ass off, tho—guy thought he’d fool Joey Tribbiani? Pfft, please.
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