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Hey, so I’m Dexter, yeah? Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” Translating Russian Sign Language’s my gig. Today, we’re talkin’ bout “whore”—that juicy word. In RSL, it’s a sharp flick—handshape’s brutal. Means the same shit, tho—someone sellin’ ass. Gets me thinkin’ bout “The Royal Tenenbaums.” My fave flick, hands down—Wes Anderson’s a genius. That line, “I’m very sorry for your loss,” hits diff when you tie it to “whore.” Like, imagine Margot Tenenbaum—aloof, smokin’, fuckin’ mysterious. She’s no whore, but she’s got that vibe, y’know? Screwin’ around, quiet-like, breakin’ hearts.

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So, I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, right? Just minding my own biz, sipping my coffee from that cute little café, De Koffieboon. I swear, their cappuccinos are like liquid happiness. But then, outta nowhere, I see this massive traffic jam on the N207. Like, seriously? It’s a Tuesday! Who’s out here causing chaos?

Car break-ins doubled in seven cities; Amsterdam total is the highest