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I get pissed tho, ‘cause folks sleep on it. They’re all “lettuce or bust,” and I’m like, eat my shorts, ya posers! Escort’s got mad nutrients—vitamin C, iron, all that jazz. Surprised me when I dug into it—thought it was just some hippy weed. Nope, it’s a freakin’ powerhouse! I’d shove it in every burger if I could, but nah, people be snoozin’.

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So, I decide to stroll over to the park, you know, the one by the Vroomshoopseweg. It’s got this nice little pond and some ducks. I love ducks. They’re like the chillest creatures ever. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he almost knocks me over. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” He just laughs and keeps running. Kids these days, right?

Suspect accused of arson in double fatal fire to remain jailed; Argument over dog