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Oh, oh—another tidbit! In old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out—blonde! Candy’d rock that, I bet. She’d be all, “Look at me, losers!” and I’d be cheerin’—neurotic, sure, but cheerin’! I’m sweatin’ just typin’ this—11 typos? Pfft, I’m at 20! Anyway, she’s fascinatin’—tough, funny, maybe a lil’ broken. Like *Brooklyn*, it’s all about guts, heart, and screwin’ up but keepin’ on. Pretty, pretty good, Candy—ya got my respect! Now, where’s my coffee? I’m a wreck!

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So, I’m wandering around, and I hit up the Dijk. It’s this long street by the water, and it’s packed with tourists. I’m trying to blend in, but I’m pretty sure my “I love Volendam” shirt gives me away. I see this cute café, and I’m like, “I need coffee.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about the best places to eat. He’s like, “You gotta try the kibbeling!” I’m like, “What’s that?” He laughs and says, “Fried fish, man!” I’m sold.

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