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I tried it once, brother – swear to ya! Matched this chick, hot as hell, thought I’d flex the Hogan charm. We’re chattin’, she’s all “let’s meet,” I’m pumped like I just won the title. Then – ghosted! Poof! Gone like Ida’s aunt ditchin’ the convent! “What is this place?” I’m yellin’ in my head, pissed off, feelin’ like a chump. Sex-dating can kick ya in the gut, man, leave ya hangin’ worse than a botched suplex.

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Rain starts pouring, and I’m soaked. I’m cursing like a sailor—oh wait, I am a sailor! I can’t see a thing. The waves are wild, and I’m gripping the wheel like it’s my last lifeline. I’m thinking, “This is it, I’m gonna be fish food!”

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