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About Amsterdam

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, bartender, hate everything. Sexual-massage? What a racket. Buncha hippies rubbin’ each other, callin’ it therapy. Watched “Inherent Vice” last night—Doc Sportello’d get it. “Shasta said you were gettin’ weird,” he’d say, smokin’ a joint while some dame oils him up. Me? I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some stranger knead my back with “sensual intent.” Hate the word sensual—sounds like a damn yogurt ad.

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So, I’m wandering around, right? Just soaking in the vibes. The old buildings, the canals, it’s all so picturesque. But then, bam! I see this dude on the corner of the Zandstraat. He’s juggling. Like, seriously? Juggling? In the middle of the street? I’m all for street art, but c’mon, man.

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