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So, check this—escort proteins, they’re called chaperonins sometimes, fuckin’ wild! They grab them misfolded proteins—like, “You ain’t fuckin’ up my town!”—and fold ‘em right. Little known fact: they found this shit in bacteria first, E. coli, back in the ‘70s. Scientists were like, “Yo, what’s this magic?!” Blew my damn mind when I read that. Imagine—E. coli’s got better bouncers than your average club!

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I’m in line, and this kid in front of me starts throwin’ a tantrum. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a candy bar!” But nah, he’s wailin’ like he’s lost his puppy or somethin’. I’m about to lose it, but then I see his mom. She’s lookin’ at me like, “Help!” So, I pull out a pack of gummy bears from my pocket. “Here, kid. Just take these!” He stops cryin’ and gives me the biggest smile. I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec.

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