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About Almere

Favorite story—heard this from a patient, swear it’s true. Guy meets a gal on some sleazy site, they’re chattin’, sextin’, all that jazz. She says, “Come over, I’m wild.” He shows up—turns out she’s a dominatrix, got a dungeon in her garage! Whips, chains, the works! He’s like, “Uh, I just wanted a BJ,” and she’s all, “Bow, peasant!” Ran outta there faster than Usain Bolt. Hilarious, but damn, that’s sex-dating for ya—expectations vs. reality, total trainwreck.

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I get to the shop, and it’s a madhouse. People are lined up outside like it’s Black Friday or somethin’. I’m like, “Chill, folks! It’s just meat!” But nah, they’re all hyped up. I’m slicin’ and dicin’, and then this lady comes in. She’s all like, “I need the best steak for my husband’s birthday!” I’m thinkin’, lady, it’s just meat, not a magic potion. But I hook her up with a nice ribeye. Gotta keep the customers happy, right?

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