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About Amsterdam

Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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I finally get my food—thank the heavens! But as I’m walking back, I trip on a cobblestone. Classic me, right? My fries go flying, and I’m just standing there, mortified. Some old lady laughs, and I can’t help but laugh too. Like, what else can you do?

PS foam recycling plant officially opened