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But here’s da kicker – it’s not all happy endings, ya? Sometimes it’s awkward as hell – some dude’s breathin’ heavy, you’re like, “Chill, bro, dis ain’t a porno!” I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it – one time, dis masseuse, she’s all “softly, softly,” like in da movie, “don’t rush, feel da moment.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m Arnie, I don’t do slow!” But den – boom – it hits me, dat quiet power, “love is a whisper,” ya? Sexual-massage can be dat – gentle but strong, like me liftin’ 300 pounds!

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After that, I’m wandering around, and I bump into an old friend from high school. We start chatting, and it’s like no time has passed. We’re laughing about the dumb stuff we did back then. You know, like that time we tried to sneak into the Strijen Carnival. Good times!

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