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Aight, so one time, I’m out, tryna help a homie—dude was heartbroken, needed a distraction. We hit this sketch spot, neon lights buzzin, air thick with desperation. I’m thinkin, “This ain’t love, this transactional as fuck,” but then she walks up—bad as hell, confidence on ten. I’m like, “Oh, she’s a problem!” Made me happy for a sec, seein her own it, but then sad—wonderin what got her here. “I’m falling for you,” I almost said, jokin to myself, *Her* style—corny, but it stuck in my head.

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I start sweating bullets. I mean, who knew Staphorst could be so dramatic? I’m pacing back and forth, and I see this old lady on the side of the road. She’s just chillin’, knitting or something. I’m like, “Lady, do you have any idea how to get this truck outta here?” She just looks at me and says, “Patience, young man.” Patience? I’m about to lose my job!

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