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I’d be all sneaky, peekin’ at X posts—prolly some shady dude tweetin’, “Hot babes here!” I’d click it, prolly get a virus, scream, “MY COMPUTER’S PREGANANT!” Made me mad once—some jerk scammed me with a fake gal pic. Total catfish! But then, I found this one chick—real sweet, smelled like pineapple. Happy vibes, man! Reminded me of that movie line, “I talk to her every day,” ‘cept I’m like, “I paid her every day!” Hehe, kidding—maybe.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s got a toddler in one hand and a shopping list in the other. She’s yelling at the kid, “Don’t touch that!” while the kid’s reaching for a chocolate bar. I’m just trying to ring up the snacks, and she’s like, “Excuse me, can you help me find the diapers?” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a cashier, not a tour guide!” But I point her to the baby aisle on de Kade, and she bolts off.

Cranes lift Dutch runaway train off whale sculpture