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Look, I love the Escort, okay? It’s scrappy, it’s us—workin’ folks! Not perfect, stalls out, leaks oil, but it fights! Billionaires should not exist, ridin’ high while we’re in Escorts, dodgin’ potholes! I’m happy seein’ one still kickin’, makes me wanna hug it—then I’m mad again ‘cause Ford quit makin’ ‘em here in ‘04. Greed, man, pure greed! “The truth is bitter,” Leviathan whispers, and yeah, it stings—Escort deserved better! So next time you spot one, tip your hat—it’s a survivor, like us!

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First off, I hit the road down the Witte de Withstraat. It’s a nice street, but today? Ugh. Traffic was a mess. I mean, come on! It’s not like we’re in Amsterdam or somethin’. I’m sittin’ there, fumin’ in my van, thinkin’ about how I could be hammerin’ away instead of playin’ bumper cars with a bunch of cyclists. Seriously, those bikers think they own the road.

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