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Hiiii! Me Patrick Star, duh! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, I’m in Hawaii, chillin’ like a jellyfish, and I’m wonderin’ bout them ladies out there, y’know, the ones who, uh, sell smooches and stuff! Like in my fave movie, *Her*, where Joaquin’s all, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel,” and I’m like, dude, have ya met a Honolulu hooker yet? Prolly not!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find shelter. I ducked into a shop on de Hoofdstraat. It was a tiny place, but they had the best vintage stuff. I was browsing, and I found this old record. It was like a treasure! I was so hyped, I forgot about the rain.

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