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What pisses me off? The fakers! Dudes pretendin to be chicks, catfishin horny saps. Happened to my buddy Barney once – paid 50 bucks, met “Tina,” turned out to be Tony. D’oh! Laughed my ass off, but man, that’s cold. Happiest I got? Found a deal once – “2 for 1 special” – like a freakin BOGO at Kwik-E-Mart! Surprised me how normal some seem – one gal told me she’s payin for college. College! “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” huh?
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So, I get up there, and I start talking about climate change. You know, the usual doom and gloom. But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yelling. I’m like, “What the heck?” Turns out, she’s mad about my stats. Like, lady, I didn’t make the data! I’m just the messenger!
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