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About Almere

So, last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown, feelin’ like a stud—how you doin’? —and I see this chick, leather skirt, smokin’ a cig like she owns the block. I’m thinkin’, “Joey, don’t be a schmuck, say somethin’ smooth.” But nah, I just stare, cause I’m an idiot. She winks, I’m hooked—bam! Turns out, she’s been workin’ that corner since the 90s, a freakin’ legend. Little known fact: some of these girls got nicknames—like, she’s “Cinnamon” cause she once threw a spice jar at a rude john. Hilarious, right?

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We start chatting, and outta nowhere, this dog runs up to us. It’s a big ol’ fluffy thing, and I’m like, “Aww, cute!” But then it jumps on me, muddy paws and all. I’m covered in dirt! I’m a forester, I get it, but this is not my vibe. Joris is cracking up, and I’m just standing there like, “Great, now I smell like a wet dog.”

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