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So, escort—where do I start? I’m thinkin’ ‘bout those unsung heroes, right? Like the smokejumpers who escort injured buddies outta danger zones—gritty, sweaty, no bullshit. But then, there’s the other side—high-end escorts, rollin’ with billionaires in private jets. Makes my blood boil! Why’s it always the 1% gettin’ pampered? “Life’s about moments,” like in *Boyhood*—y’know, my fave flick! That kid Mason, growin’ up slow, real, no fancy escorts, just life hittin’ him raw. Meanwhile, these rich jerks pay for company—ugh, disgusting!

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I finally find this old dude selling reclaimed wood. He’s got this gnarly piece that’s perfect for a violin. I’m all excited, but then he tells me the price. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, I get it, it’s vintage and all, but c’mon! I haggle a bit, and we settle on a price that’s still too high, but whatever. I’m not leaving without that wood.

A crate of 40 Van Gogh paintings was once sold for less than $1