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Once saw this lad, “6’2, ripped,”—ha! Showed up, 5’5, beer gut wobblin’. Made me mad, precious, mad as orcs! “Lies twist us,” I hissed, like Saul dodgin’ death. But then—ooh—met this lass, fiery hair, real spark. Chatted dirty, met up, bam! Fireworks, my precious, fireworks! Happiest night, me dancin’ like a fool. “We live, we breathe!”—straight outta that flick, yeah?

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First off, I’m a violin maker, yeah? So, I’m all about that wood and strings life. I head down to the beach, thinking I’ll get some inspiration from the waves or whatever. You know, the whole “be one with nature” vibe. I stroll down the Keizerstraat, and it’s packed! Tourists everywhere, like ants at a picnic. I’m dodging strollers and selfie sticks like I’m in some kind of obstacle course.

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