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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute – it’s a dang mess out there! I’m sittin’ here, Dr. Phil style, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’ – how’s that workin’ for ya, huh? This whole deal reminds me of *Margaret*, that movie I’m plumb crazy about – you got folks runnin’ ‘round, makin’ choices, then bam, life hits ‘em like a freight train! Like Lisa screamin’, “You don’t even know what you’ve done!” – that’s what I wanna holler at these johns sometimes!

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I finally find this old dude selling reclaimed wood. He’s got this gnarly piece that’s perfect for a violin. I’m all excited, but then he tells me the price. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, I get it, it’s vintage and all, but c’mon! I haggle a bit, and we settle on a price that’s still too high, but whatever. I’m not leaving without that wood.

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