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Fav story? Heard some old fisherman in Cornwall swore a brill winked at him. Winked! I’m like, “Sure, grandpa, you been drinking seawater?” But I kinda love it—gives brothel—dammit, *brill*—some sass. Sarcasm’s my love language, so a winking fish? I’m in.

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Finally, I hang up, and I’m like, “What a day!” I look out the window, and it’s starting to rain. Typical Dutch weather, right? I decide to call it a day. I’m walking home down the Molenstraat, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda nice. I toss him a couple of euros.

Should we pay per bag of rubbish? Most councils fail to meet recycling targets