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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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But then, outta nowhere, my blaster jams. Ugh! I’m standing there, covered in dust, looking like a hot mess. I’m sweating bullets, and I’m like, “C’mon, not today!” I start banging on it, and my buddy Jeroen walks by. He’s like, “Dude, you good?” I’m like, “No, I’m not good! This thing’s possessed!”

The construction of the new White House, Dreyeroord starts this week