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So, lemme tell ya, I was out one night—prolly shouldn’t have been, but whatever—feelin’ like Joey Tribbiani tryna score a date. “How you doin’?” I’d say to the air, practicin’ my charm, ya know? Streets were buzzin’, lights flickerin’ like Yubaba’s creepy lair. Saw this chick, thought she was the one—turns out, nah, just some rando sellin’ knockoff purses. Pissed me off! Wasted my smooth line, man!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got my coffee and now this? I’m running for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in an obstacle course. I duck into a shop, and it’s packed. Everyone’s looking at me like I’m a wet dog.

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