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About Utrecht

So, I swagger up, all charm, “What’s yer price, love?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “More’n you got, trickster.” Cheeky! I’m half mad, half lovin’ it—nobody talks to *me* like that. Didja know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy, eh? Makes it sound poetic, not dodgy. Anyway, she’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “This is my glorious purpose tonight!”—bit dramatic, sure, but I’m Loki, I live for it.

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So, I’m finally feeling good, right? I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on de Lange Dijk. I walk in, and it’s packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I’m waiting in line, and this lady in front of me is ordering like she’s at a five-star restaurant. “I’ll have a double-shot, half-caf, soy latte with a sprinkle of cinnamon.” I’m just standing there like, “Lady, it’s coffee, not a potion!”

Illegal brothel found operating in Amersfoort home