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About Almere

Oi mate, sexual-massage, innit? What a bloody racket! Slippery hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s grin. Watched *Leviathan* again last night—fave flick, yeah? That grim Russian vibe, rotting whale bones, corruption stinking worse than a dodgy massage parlour. “Everything’s God’s will,” they say in the film—bollocks to that! Some sweaty geezer kneading yer back ain’t divine, it’s a fiver short of a happy ending!

How To Give A Tantric Lingam Massage (The Multiple-Orgasm Technique For Men)

A yoni massage is essentially a happy ending massage, similar to those men receive from women who offer sexual services. It's perplexing why.

First off, I hit the streets. I mean, who doesn’t love a stroll down the Hoofdstraat? It’s like the main vein of this place. But guess what? I step out, and it’s raining. Like, come on! I didn’t sign up for a water park adventure. My hair was looking fly, and now? Total disaster.

Leonardus (Leo) H. M. Van Putten | Obituaries