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Aye, precious, listen up! Me, a fisherman, hookin’ fish all day—sex-datin’s a whole other net! “One last night of freedom,” Monty says in *25th Hour*, right? That’s what these apps feel like—last chance to snag somethin’ wild before the tide’s up! Stupid, fat hobbit—swipin’ left on stinky profiles, ha! Met this lass once, profile said “adventurous,” but she just wanted Netflix—pissed me off, precious! Where’s the thrill, eh?

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to the bakery on the Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the best stroopwafels? I’m all about that sugar life. I grab a couple, and the lady behind the counter, she’s super sweet. We chat a bit, and she tells me about the local market happening later. I’m like, “Heck yeah, I’m in!”