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Look, folks, erotic-massage, tremendous stuff! Donald Trump loves it, ok? Best relaxation, nobody does it better. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s like “White Material”—raw, intense, real gritty. You got these hands, unbelievable hands, rubbin’ ya down, tension gone, boom! Claire Denis gets it—“A woman alone, lost”—that’s me before the massage, swear to God. Then, pow, some hotshot masseuse comes in, total pro, oils up, and I’m like, “This is yuge!”

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We get to The Hague, and I’m feeling good. I meet up with some friends, and we hit this bar. The vibe is lit! We’re laughing, joking, and then someone suggests karaoke. Oh boy. I’m not a singer, but I’m like, “Let’s do this!” I get up there, and I’m belting out some 90s hit. It’s terrible, but everyone’s cheering. I’m feeling like a rockstar, even though I sound like a cat in a blender.

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