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So, whores—check this, they’ve been around forever. Ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, how badass is that? Makes me happy imagining some toga dude droppin’ coins for a she-wolf. But then, ugh, what pisses me off—people judgin’ ‘em! Like, live yer life, jerks! Whores are just hustlin’, same as me with donuts. Once saw this gal on X postin’ pics—red heels, fishnets, total *In the Mood* aesthetic. Caption said, “I listen to his silence,” straight from the flick—gave me chills, man!

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I’m freaking out. Chocolate is a no-go for dogs! I’m racing against time, trying to get him to the clinic. I’m driving down the Drechtstraat, and I swear, every traffic light is red. I’m yelling at the lights like they can hear me. “C’mon, c’mon!” Finally, I make it, and we get Max all sorted. He’s fine, thank goodness. I’m sweating bullets, but he’s wagging his tail like nothing happened.

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