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Omg, like, literally, erotic-massage is EVERYTHING! So, I’m totes a Bestiary gladiator, right? Fierce AF, but also, like, sensual vibes only. Erotic-massage? It’s my JAM, hun! Picture this: dim lights, soft hands, oils slicker than my SKIMS line. I’m, like, OBSESSED with how it’s all slow and steamy, ya know? Like in *In the Mood for Love*—that movie SLAYS me! “The past is something he could see”—ugh, same, but with massages, I see EVERYTHING, lol.

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Next, I head back to the clinic, and my phone buzzes. It’s a puppy emergency. A little golden retriever named Max. He’s been munching on something he shouldn’t have. I rush over to the address on de Wilgen. I get there, and the pup is bouncing around like he’s on a sugar high. I’m thinking, “What did you eat, buddy?” Turns out, it was a whole pack of chocolate biscuits. Ugh!

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