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About Myself
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What gets me happy? Some escorts are legit pros—smart, funny, charm oozin’ like jellyfish jam. Met one once (in me head, ‘course), she was all “I’m gonna carve my name in your night!”—straight outta *Basterds*! Total badass. But what pisses me off? Creeps who treat ‘em like trash. Makes me wanna yell, “You ain’t got no humanity!”—Aldo-style. Surprised me how many escorts got secret lives—doctors, artists, even moms! Who knew, right?
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So, I’m munching on this thing, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. Like, faceplant style. I’m laughing, but then I see he’s hurt. Ugh, bummer. I run out to help him, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But he’s got a huge scrape on his knee. Classic Palenstein, right? Everyone’s tough until they’re not.
Obituary | HATTIE PIEHL
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