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So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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I spot this vendor sellin’ the most beautiful tulips. I mean, they were yellin’ at me to buy ‘em. So, I do. I’m walkin’ around with these tulips, feelin’ like a king. But then, I see my ex. Ugh, why? She’s with some dude, and they’re laughin’. I’m tryin’ to act cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why’d I even come here?”

Figure 3: The Learning Spectrum (De Vries and Leege, 2008)