Leah Oud Beijerland Sexual Massage ❤️

About Almere

Okay, but—*ugh*—overpriced parlors make me wanna haunt ‘em. $200 for a rubdown? Get outta here! Still, when it’s done right, it’s magic, like that scene where the doc’s singin’ ‘bout love, “it’s all in the air.” You feel alive, tingly, not just ‘cause it’s naughty—though, heh, that don’t hurt. Ever hear ‘bout tantric massage? It’s sexual-massage’s nerdy cousin—breathin’ and eye-gazin’ for hours. Tried it, got bored, yelled “BOO!” mid-session. Total buzzkill.

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While I’m working, she starts telling me about the history of Oud-Beijerland. Apparently, it used to be a fishing village. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here to fix your window, not write a history book.” But she’s on a roll, and I’m nodding along, trying not to laugh.

Two-headed tortoise born in Gelderland; A Netherlands first