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About Almere

So, ‘ere’s me story, yeah? Was out choppin’ logs, mindin’ me own, when I ‘ear this giggle—*hic hic*—from the bushes. Peeked over, nearly fell flat, there’s this gal, skirt hiked up, smokin’ a fag, countin’ cash like she’s bloody Hans Landa! “You don’t like me? Tough titties!” she says, flickin’ ash. Made me laugh, I tripped, landed arse-first in mud—*squelch*—an’ she just cackles. Proper cheeky, that one.

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I get to my shop on de Zandweg, and it’s a mess. Like, a total disaster zone. Fur everywhere! I’m talking about rabbit, mink, you name it. I’m like, “What the heck happened here?” Turns out, my assistant, Tim, thought it’d be a good idea to have a “fur fashion show” in the shop. Spoiler alert: it was not a good idea.

Jarno Opmeer joins Red Bull Racing after switch from Mercedes