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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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OIC is a collective for Independent Sex Workers based in Ottawa, Gatineau & surrounding areas. Learn more about OIC, who we are and what we offer to the Ottawa Sex Worker community. .

Finally, I head back home, exhausted. I can’t believe all the craziness today. Opheusden, you’re wild! I plop down on my couch, thinking about the pink car, the dandelion, and that fat cat. Life’s weird, man. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Learning New Skills Can Help You Think Further Ahead