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But here’s what pisses me off – some dodgy parlors out there, promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ jack squat. Total con! Makes me wanna grab my Walther PPK and sort ‘em out. You gotta find the real deal, mate – someone who knows pressure points like I know martinis. Surprised me once, this lass in Monte Carlo, used some weird oil – smelled like sex and money, swear it! “Sell me this pen,” I joked, but she just smirked and kept goin’. Cheeky minx.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this old dude, Jan, who’s always hangin’ around. He’s got this wild beard, looks like he’s been lost in the woods for a decade. He starts tellin’ me about his cat, Minoes. Apparently, Minoes caught a mouse, and Jan’s all proud. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a cat. That’s what they do.” But hey, it made me chuckle.

Unveiling of plaque and mural at Antoni van Leeuwenhoek's birthplace