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I reckon it’s like, half-massage, half-foreplay, ya know? You’re layin’ there, all tense, then—bam!—someone’s kneadin’ your back, but it’s hot, not just relaxin’. That movie, man, when Adèle’s all, “I’m burning up,” that’s the vibe! Skin on skin, heart racin’, d’oh! I’d probly giggle like an idiot first time—can’t help it! Oh, and fun fact—there’s this Thai style, “nuruu,” where they use their whole body! Whole. Freakin’. Body! Slippery as a donut glaze, I bet!

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Je vindt Weleda City Spa in Oegstgeest, vlak aan de rand met Leiden. Heerlijke relaxmassage, afgestemd op jouw wensen. Geniet met z'n tweeën van een ontspannende massage. ‘Heerlijk, .

Then, I spot this cute café on the corner of de Kempenaerstraat. I’m starving, so I pop in for a quick bite. I order a sandwich, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing about... wait for it... the best way to grow potatoes. I mean, really? In a café? But it’s Oegstgeest, so I guess it makes sense.

Zuid-Holland warns 8 municipalities: Arrange asylum shelter, or we'll do it for you