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It’s messy, oily chaos—like war, but hornier. “The rush of battle is a potent addiction,” Bigelow said it, and fuck yeah, this is my fix! Hands glidin’, stress explodin’—boom! Better than choppin’ logs, I’ll tell ya. You tried it yet, motherfucker? Get on it—defuse your ass before you blow!

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After that chaos, I decide to take a break. I stroll over to the local café on the Hoofdstraat. Grab a coffee, right? I sit down, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden and how she used to grow the biggest sunflowers. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee.” But she’s sweet, so I let her ramble.

Community Champion: Renate Terpstra helps swimmers achieve greatness