Abigail Noordwijk Binnen Erotic Massage ❤️

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Now, I’m ramblin’ like a toff at a toga party, but hear me out. Watched *The Great Beauty* again last night – cor, what a film! Jep Gambardella, that suave geezer, floatin’ through Rome, all decadent and lush. Reminds me of erotic-massage, it does. “The most important thing I discovered,” Jep says, “is the smell of the houses.” That’s it, ain’t it? The vibe! Walk into one of them parlours – candles flickerin’, oil slickin’ about, that musky whiff hittin’ you like a Latin hymn. *O tempora, o mores!* Times and morals, shiftin’ like a dodgy massage table.

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So, I get to the dairy farm, and it’s all good vibes. Cows are mooing, and I’m like, “Let’s do this!” But then, bam! The milking machine decides to throw a tantrum. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, trying to fix it, and it’s just making this awful grinding noise. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If I don’t get this sorted, I’m gonna be the laughing stock of the whole farm.”

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