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Yo, funniest thing — ever hear about escort fish? Not kidding! These tiny fish swim with sharks, eating leftovers. Nature’s lil’ hustlers. Cracked me up, imaging them with business cards. “Call me, big guy!” Total sarcasm, but fits escort life, yeah? Always someone tagging along, getting paid.

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Oosterengweg. It’s peaceful there, you know? Just me and the ducks. I sit on a bench, munching on a stroopwafel, when I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, like a superhero or something. “Need a hand, ma’am?” She’s all grateful and stuff, and I’m feeling like a champ. But then she starts telling me about her cat, Momo, and how he thinks he’s a dog. I’m like, “Lady, that’s wild!” But honestly, I’m just trying to eat my stroopwafel in peace.