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So, check it—massage been around forever. Ancient Greeks? Rubbin’ down athletes, oiled up, half-naked—prolly got frisky too, who knows! Then there’s this Thai style, “nuad boran,” means ancient touch—sounds classy, but it’s steamy as hell. Hands slidin’, bodies twistin’, tension just—poof! Gone! I’m like, damn, humans, you sneaky geniuses! Saw this X post once, dude swore Cleopatra invented erotic-massage with rose oil—bullshit, but I’d buy it, sounds dope.

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But then, I get a bit hangry. I need food, like, now. I spot a food truck selling fries. Yes! I order a portion with mayo, of course. As I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just standing there, fries in hand, thinking, “Yikes, this is awkward.” But then, they start laughing. Like, what? It’s like a rom-com moment. I’m just here for the fries, people!

Appeal to trace family of Kirkcaldy soldier killed 80 years ago in Netherlands by locals who have adopted his grave