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And the movies—*The Headless Woman*—it’s got that vibe, ya know? Veronica’s all, “I don’t know what’s real anymore,” and I’m there on the table, thinkin’, “Is this chick flirtin’ or just good at her job?” That line, “Everything’s fine, nothing happened”—that’s me, post-massage, waddlin’ out, pretendin’ I didn’t just moan like a wounded animal. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a mind trip! You’re tense, then loose, then tense again ‘cause—what if someone saw me leavin’ this place? My neighbor’s nosy as hell—Mrs. Kravitz 2.0!

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Then, I get another call. This time, it’s a lady who’s lost her phone. I’m thinking, “Great, another day in paradise.” She’s screaming about how she left it at the Naarden train station. I’m like, “Lady, it’s 2023. Can’t you just track it?” But no, she’s convinced it’s been stolen by a “suspicious-looking guy” near the Naardermeer. I mean, come on! It’s a lake, not a crime scene!

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