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So, this one time, I’m cruisin’ Austin (natch), and I spot this chick, total fox, workin’ the corner. Mini skirt, fishnets – shag-tastic! But here’s the kicker, mate: she’s got a kid waitin’ at home! Blew my mind, yeah? Like in *Boyhood*, “I just thought there’d be more!” More to life than this grind, y’know? Made me bloody sad, man, thinkin’ she’s out there, dodgin’ creeps, just to feed her little ‘un.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my auction? I’m standing there, trying to keep it together while everyone’s scrambling for the exits. I’m like, “Guys, it’s just a drill! Or is it?!” My heart’s racing, and I’m thinking, “This is how I go out? In Naaldwijk, with a bunch of angry bidders?”

First plant clock via central auction coming soon