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Here’s a wild one—back in ‘82, heard this story. Prostitute in Philly, right? Swore she saw Elvis—*Elvis*! Post-‘77, still kickin’. Said he tipped her in gold rings. Laughed my ass off—c’mon, Elvis, really? But she believed it, swear to God. Made me happy—hope’s nuts, ain’t it?

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I’m feeling all inspired, so I sit down on a bench near the castle. The view of the IJmeer is stunning. I’m thinking, “This is it! This is where I’ll write my next bestseller.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lunch!” But the seagull just looks at me like, “What’s your point?”

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