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Me? I’d be rubbish at it – too jumpy! “Who’s that? Cop? Trick?” I’d hiss, clawin’ at me own head. Once heard a story – bloke paid £200, got a dude instead! Laughed me arse off, precious – surprise of the century! “What’s this, then?” he yelped, runnin’ fast. Bet he felt like Malik, cornered, screamin’ “I’m no fool!”

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Then, I get to this field near the Molenweg. Beautiful spot, right? But guess what? The farmer’s not there! I’m like, “Dude, where you at?” I wait for what feels like forever. Finally, he rolls up on his bike, all casual. I’m ready to explode, but he’s chillin’, like it’s no big deal. I’m thinkin’, “You know I got places to be, right?”

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