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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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Then I decided to stroll down to the park at Parklaan. It’s a cute little spot, you know? Kids running around, dogs chasing their tails. I’m just vibing, enjoying the sun. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly knocks me over! Like, dude, watch where you’re going! I was so mad, I almost yelled, but then I saw his face. He looked so scared. I just laughed it off. Kids, man.