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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all giggles. Some nights, you’re pissed—dudes hagglin’ like she’s a flea market rug. Makes me wanna yell, “Great Scott, have some respect!” Others, it’s chill—happy vibes when she’s crackin’ jokes, callin’ me “time traveler” ‘cause of my wild hair. Ha! Little known fact: back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Anatolia—yeah, real Anatolia—used to signal clients with colored lanterns. Red for go, blue for nah. History’s wild, man!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in my tiny apartment on de Lutte, right? Just another day in Losser, or so I thought. I’m a texture artist, so I usually chill at home, working on my digital stuff. But today? Nah, not happening.

Janice Losser Patten